Petals in the Wind: In Pursuit of a Vision
by Roschelle Templar
Summary: When a case makes Kaori start to doubt her own femininity, Ryo comes up with his own solution to her problem by offering to be her personal instructor on how to become the ideal woman.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: New story. This one and my _Farewell Song of a Magnum_ are my project for both Valentine's Day this month and White Day next month. I decided to celebrate these two romantic holidays by having two (approximately) eight chapter fics that explore two sides of romance: humor and drama. This fic will be the more light-hearted one with _Magnum_ being the more dramatic one. I hope to update one chapter on each one for the rest of February and March and have them finished by the end of March (or very shortly thereafter). Timeline-wise, this takes place after about Volume 25 of the manga (or around Season Four if you only watch the anime).

Anyway, I hope my readers enjoy these two projects. :) And I'm interested to know what you think: do you like the drama or the comedy? Or both? Please let me know your thoughts.

I do not own City Hunter or any of its characters.

Thank you to everyone who reads/follows/reviews this. It is always appreciated.

Chapter One

Kaori Makimura stood in a corner of the room, her face in her hands. As she stood there, one question continued to repeat itself in an endless loop in her mind.

'_Why on earth did I agree to this job?'_

* * *

Three days ago, Kaori had gone to check the blackboard at the Shinjuku station for work and had been thrilled to finally see a request on the board. Her elation quickly disappeared, however, when the handwriting told her that the request had come from a woman.

'_Why is it that we only seem to scare away the good jobs that involve men?' _she had wondered. '_Considering Ryo's usual antics, it seems like it would be the women who would stop looking for our help altogether. And yet, once again, here it is.'_

Kaori let out a long sigh and pulled out her notebook. Even though she wanted to forget about this request, the fact remained that their finances would not allow it. She jotted down the information and walked back out to the streets of Shinjuku, trying to formulate some way to meet with this potential client without Ryo insisting on joining her. As it turned out, Ryo had gone out to spend time on his own the next day, so Kaori was easily able to slip away.

Her apprehension about the job did not dissipate in the least once she got a chance to meet with the client, Shigeta Aoki, a young woman who was trying to get established in the fashion world. It had turned out that she had recently parted ways with an established fashion house in Tokyo, and a former co-worker, Eikichi Fujisawa, had threatened to ruin her debut as a designer. Apparently, Fujisawa had been jealous of the attention their mentor had given Aoki and was determined to disrupt her fashion show which featured a line of swimwear she had spent a year designing.

"Please," Aoki had pleaded with her. "It's been my dream since I was a little girl to have a fashion line of my own. My mother and father worked so hard to help fund my education in design school, and my mentor put so much into guiding me to this moment. Please, help me make my dream and theirs come true."

Listening to the details of the job, Kaori could easily think of a hundred reasons to turn down this request. More specifically, she could think of exactly twenty-one of them with twenty of them being the models she and Ryo would have to protect and the other one being Aoki herself, who could easily have been a model herself if she had chosen to.

Still, Kaori could not ignore Aoki's sincere pleas nor could she stand the idea of someone else's jealousy ruining the hopes of so many people. She reluctantly agreed to set up a meeting for her with Ryo.

"And don't worry," Kaori had told her. "I'll make sure to protect you and your models from him."

"Um, don't you mean that the two of you will protect me and my models from Fujisawa-san and his henchmen?" Aoki asked. Kaori laughed weakly before a grim expression settled into her features.

"You don't know Ryo," she said. "Professionally, he's the best in all Japan, if not the world, at what he does. But as a man…."

"Yes?"

"Never mind," Kaori sighed. "Just know that I'll be around at all times to make sure that things don't get out of hand.

* * *

As Kaori expected, Ryo had been more than a little eager to take this job, especially after meeting with Aoki and learning about how they would be working at a fashion show and keeping an eye on twenty swimsuit models.

"Ah ha ha, Ryo-chan is in heaven," he had said more than once. "Now this is the kind of job we should be doing more often."

Kaori supposed that she could try to kid herself into thinking that the reason why Ryo thought that way was because the client was paying so well or because the work had turned out to be pretty easy thus far, but she knew better than to cling to such delusions. Kaori found that she had had to spend as much time assisting Ryo in his search for any way Fujisawa could sabotage the show as she did making sure that Ryo did not ruin the show himself by prompting any of the models to quit due to his near constant mokkori activities. By the time the day of the show arrived, she felt exhausted from all the efforts she had had to expend.

'_We need the money,' _she kept telling herself. '_And after today, our client won't need us as urgently anymore. Ryo can just make a few threats to this Fujisawa guy at his place, and she won't need to worry about him ever again. So, I just need to get through today, and everything will be fine.'_

Kaori tried to comfort herself with that idea more than once at the start of the day, but she had a feeling that that might not be enough to keep her calm as the day wore on. While this would be the last day that she and Ryo would need to work so closely with Aoki, this was also sure to be the most difficult day of all. If Fujisawa was to try anything, this would be his last chance, thus they had to be extra vigilant. Also, she knew that the prospect of twenty models changing in and out of a variety of swimsuits would be a temptation too great for Ryo to ignore.

As a precautionary measure, Kaori arranged it so that Ryo would have to work as a stage hand. She hoped that that work, along with having to ensure his client's safety and the safety of the models, would keep him so busy that he wouldn't have time to engage in his usual mokkori pursuits.

Kaori frowned as she remembered the car trip over to the theater that was hosting the fashion show. Ryo had grumbled the entire time about how he was losing his enthusiasm for this job and how his efforts to protect both Aoki and the models were being hampered by her "unreasonable and ridiculous" demands. She had ignored most of his complaining given how she was used to it with many of the jobs they had worked in the past, but she hadn't been able to forget about one comment in particular from him.

"Why is it that you always act like this whenever we have a female client?" he had asked her. "Can't you ever stop being jealous?"

A few shouted words of denial and a swift blow with her hammer had been enough to deflect that question. Still, Kaori had not been able to completely put aside the feelings those questions had stirred up inside her.

'_Why do I care so much about what he does with these women?' _she kept asking herself. '_I mean, yes we need to take care of our clients properly and protect the integrity of our business. But is that all it is or is it…?'_

Kaori let out a sigh as she watched some of the models laugh while they checked their swimsuits in the mirror. Most of the time, she focused on the fact that it was important for her to stop Ryo from ogling the clients and random women on the street so that their potential client base would not be put off by reports about his bad habits. It was a sound, logical notion to believe in, and it was something Kaori continued to tell herself even after years of working with Ryo. That did not change the fact, however, that there were other reasons why she felt compelled to use her hammer on him whenever he attempted to have any kind of mokkori with a woman, reasons that she worked hard to dismiss and forget about.

'_And why can't I think about how I feel either?' _she wondered. '_I mean, it's normal for a woman to feel things like this about a man she….'_

Kaori swallowed hard and paced around the room. Even in the privacy of her own thoughts, she was hesitant to mention the possibility that she was in love with Ryo. That awareness was something that she did her best to keep locked up inside her. Part of this was because she simply could not understand her attraction to him, and another part was because she did not feel self-confident enough to tell anyone about feelings like that.

There was another element to it though that she could not put her finger on, and recently she found herself spending a lot of time mulling over what else could be holding her back.

'_What am I worried about?' _she asked herself. '_It's not like I'm frightened of Ryo. He can be obnoxious and oblivious, but he's not cruel. And, and since when do I care about what that loser thinks of me anyway? I'm sure that there are plenty of guys who would like to have someone like me for their girlfriend, so it wouldn't be any great loss if that idiot passed me by.'_

'_So why? What is it that I'm so afraid of? What is it that's making me live this way?'_

Kaori shook her head and took a deep breath. Looking around the room, she decided that this was not the time to ponder things like that. There was a job to finish and a pervert to keep in line. She could not let her concentration waver for even a single moment.

"Well, everything looks good in here," she said to herself as she glanced around the room.

"It certainly does," Ryo nodded. Kaori responded with a nod of her own for a moment before falling over to the ground in shock over Ryo's sudden appearance.

"Ryo! What are you doing here?" she fumed. "This is the models' dressing room."

"I know," he grinned, drool starting to appear at the corners of his mouth. "Aoki-chan really is a talented designer. Her high-cut bikinis are even sexier than the ones that came out last year."

Kaori sighed, putting her face in her hand for a moment, before starting to shove Ryo out of the room.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" he protested. "I was just…."

"Yes, you were hoping for your own private mokkori show or looking for some extra mokkori favors," Kaori cut in as she continued to push him toward the exit. "Sadly, I know the routine by now. But it's not happening. Not while I'm still on the case. Now, go do your job and keep a lookout for Fujisawa or any of his goons. That's what you were hired for."

"Oh that," he laughed. "I took care of them an hour ago."

"What?"

"Yeah, they showed up backstage while I was putting together one of the sets," Ryo continued to giggle. "So I decided to let them put on a fashion show of their own in a freezer that I found at the back of the theater. Who knew that they would keep one that big in a place like this?"

Kaori worked to stifle her reaction to Ryo's report as she imagined what he might have meant by that. Having worked with Ryo for so long, she had seen many examples of his impish and somewhat twisted sense of humor played out on the people who tried to harm their clients. There were times when Kaori wondered how and why Ryo developed such a perverse tendency to amuse himself while dealing with criminals who were hopelessly out of his league, and this was quickly turning into one of them.

Kaori then noticed how Ryo was starting to pant, and her attention returned to getting him away from the models before he acted on his desires. She pushed him even harder, and Ryo clawed at the walls in a desperate attempt to stop her.

"Come on, Kaori-chan," Ryo whined as she continued to shove him out of the room. "Ryo-chan is sick of being a stagehand. I want to be a model assistant too and check out these mokkori high-leg…."

"Forget it, Ryo," she said. "This isn't a job for you. Men aren't allowed back here."

"Then why are you back here?" Ryo said, sticking his tongue out at her. Kaori gritted her teeth while another hammer appeared in her hands.

"Because I am a woman," she growled at him. Ryo winced and dashed back toward the hallway with Kaori chasing him.

"Ryo, get back here," she yelled as she ran after him, her hammer held aloft.

"It was a joke," Ryo bellowed. "Where is your sense of humor?"

"Where is your sense of decency?" she shot back. "You mokkori maniac."

Ryo speeded up and raced around a corner, and Kaori stopped where she was, panting for air as she lowered her hammer toward the ground and watched it disappear. She knew that there was no way that she could catch him now, and she decided to simply be grateful that she had managed to lure him away from the models. She stomped back into the dressing room, but her fury was disrupted when she heard another woman screech.

"Ryo!" she shouted. "Where are you? I told you to leave the models alone."

Kaori was about to make another hammer materialize when she looked around and realized that the screeching was coming from a model who was staring at pointing at her.

"What are you doing back here?" the model gasped. "This is our dressing room, you pervert. Someone get this guy out of here."

"What are you talking about?" Kaori snapped. "I am a woman."

"Security!" the model yelled. "Come on, and get rid of him."

"Now, listen here," Kaori retorted. "I'm…."

"Wait, stop it."

Both Kaori and the model looked over to see Aoki walking toward them with her hands up and her palms facing them.

"Asagami-san, I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding," Aoki said. "Kaori-san is a woman, and she and her partner are here helping me out with the security detail." Aoki then turned toward Kaori and bowed slightly.

"I'm sorry, Kaori-san," she said. "This is my fault. I had to replace one of my models with Asagami-san, and I forgot to mention the work you and Saeba-san were doing for me today. Please forgive me. I really do appreciate all that the two of you have done for me so far."

"Ah, it's ok, really," Kaori said sheepishly. "This actually isn't the first time this has happened to me. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you," Aoki said. "I need to get back to checking the rest of the swimsuits. Asagami-san, please finish getting ready for the show. Everything will be starting in fifteen minutes."

Aoki rushed away, and Asagami let out a sigh before sauntering over to check her reflection in a mirror. Kaori scowled at her for a moment and started to walk away when a sound from Asagami stopped her.

"How was I supposed to know?" she sulked.

"Excuse me?" Kaori said, her frown growing.

"How was I supposed to know that you were a woman?" Asagami said, turning toward her. She then waved a hand at the mirror.

"Have you looked at yourself lately?" Asagami added. "Can you honestly say that you see a woman when you look into a mirror?"

Kaori moved closer to the mirror and glanced over at her reflection. She had known that she would be working today, so she had stuck to a more practical attire of jeans, a plain white shirt with a sport jacket over all of it and a pair of flat shoes on her feet. Her hair in the back was tucked behind her collar and she had decided to skip wearing any jewelry or makeup other than a light lip gloss.

"I will say this," Asagami nodded. "I wasn't that surprised when Aoki-san said that you were a bodyguard. You definitely have the look of someone like that."

"Someone like that?" Kaori echoed, putting a hand to her cheek while still staring at herself in the glass.

"Yes, exactly," Asagami said as she swished her long hair to the side. "Quite frankly, I don't know why you are so determined to assert that you are a woman when you have clearly decided to declare to the world that you are some kind of detective or bodyguard with the way you dress and the way you carry yourself. I wonder, do you even know anything about being a woman or about femininity. It seems to me like you're a tomboy through and through."

"Hurry everyone," Aoki's voice suddenly rang out. "The show is about to start." Asagami studied herself in the mirror for another couple of seconds and then twirled around to head toward the stage.

"My advice to you is stick with who you are," she said. "You'll be a lot happier if you don't try to pretend to be something you're not. Think about it."

Asagami's heels clicked as she marched over to the line where the rest of the models were waiting. Kaori thought about following her so as to keep an eye on things backstage, but she was frozen in front of the mirror.

At first, she had been angry at the things Asagami told her and had been tempted to let her know exactly what she thought of her conceited attitude. But as she listened and gazed at her reflection she began to wonder if she had a point. She thought of all the times when she was a child where the adults around her scolded her for being a tomboy and all the times when she managed to scare the boys around her with her hammers. She thought about when she was a teenager and all the times she wished she could go on dates like other girls and wasn't able to, and of all the times when she endured the laughter of boys who pointed out that only other girls ever asked her out. Finally, she thought about all the times as an adult when people accused her of being a man or a transvestite, and the fact that, while Ryo might say stuff like that to tease her, plenty of other people were serious when they said such things.

Kaori put her hand on the mirror near her face, her stare becoming far more intense.

'_Is that really what people see when they look at me?' _she asked herself. '_Do people see me only in terms of my work with Ryo and not as a woman?'_

'_Is that what I really am?'_

Kaori heard music start up, and she turned away from the mirror and went over to the backstage area to watch the show start. She looked at Aoki and the models surrounding her, and Kaori couldn't help but feel that she was missing something that they all seemed to know, something that they possessed that made them confident and happy women.

It was then that she realized another facet of what was holding her back from confessing her feelings about Ryo. It wasn't just the fact that she had never had the courage before to admit to the things in her heart. It was also her own thoughts about herself and what she felt she knew about Ryo.

'_That mokkori idiot loves women, beautiful women,' _she told herself. '_And he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't consider me to be a woman. He never will. And…he's not alone. Not at all.'_

Kaori felt something like anger stir inside her, but it was tempered by an unexpected melancholy. She understood that she could get mad about all this, but was also aware that there was little point in it.

'_This life, this work that I do, this is what I chose for myself,' _she mused. '_Maybe at first it was just a way to move past aniki's death, but now, it's all I can imagine doing.'_

'_Perhaps it's time that I accept that and everything that comes with it.'_

Kaori took a deep breath and crossed her arms over her chest. She worked on getting her mind back on her job and on making sure that Ryo did not cause any more mischief. In the back of her mind, however, she continued to ponder Asagami's words and all the thoughts that accompanied them.

She wasn't entirely sure what she would do next, but the one thing she was sure of was that it was time for her to look at her life and make some hard decisions about who she was…and who she was going to be from now on.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Next chapter. Sorry it took me so long to get it posted this week (and that I wasn't able to post right on Valentine's Day) but school and life managed to get in the way. Anyway, I am glad that my readers seem to be enjoying my idea so far, and I hope to get the chapter up for Magnum in a few hours.

I do not own City Hunter or any of its characters.

Thank you to everyone who is reading/following/reviewing this. It is always appreciated.

**Eve: **Thank you for the review as always. :) I agree that one of Kaori's strengths is her strength of personality and what she believes in. But I did notice as the anime and the manga went on, there were moments when Kaori seemed less confident of her presence as a woman and I began to think about how there might be times when she might question just who she was as far as being both a nurturing woman in love and a tough, independent tomboy. So I thought it would be interesting (and potentially amusing) if Ryo actually decided to add his own input into this kind of soul-searching. :) I hope you enjoy the rest of this fic as well.

**AskForXYZ: **Thank you. :) I am glad that you are enjoying this one thus far because I will admit that romantic humor is a tough one for me to write, so I hope I can continue to pull it off for my readers. :) As to your other comment about Ryo's and Kaori's married life...I honestly do think that it wouldn't be much different than what we see in the last eight or so volumes of the manga. In other words, I don't really picture the bickering, the mokkori hunting or the hammers going away, just as much as the unspoken and yet deep loyalty and love wouldn't go away either. In fact, my _To Realize a Destiny_ fic is pretty much how I would picture their lives if they were married: the love might be more overt and finally spoken aloud, but they would still have to deal with each other's flaws, bad habits and would still face plenty of adversity together. So for now, I guess I could say that I sort of am writing your request, and I hope you enjoy it. ;) Otherwise, I hope you enjoy this and my other fics as well.

**Rain: **Thank you. :D Yeah, I really couldn't resist doing something for two romantic holidays in Japan that happen so close together. And I am very glad that you like my summaries. I actually agonize over those every time I get ready to put up a new fic. ;) Seriously, I have spent close to an hour figuring them out in the past, so again, I am glad that you like them...As to your other request, you are right in saying that the two-part episode where Kaori's sister, Sayuri, shows up is a very nuanced one. I'm not sure if I would write a fic for that one in the exact same way that I did for episodes 100 and 101 in White Noise, Black Days, but you definitely have got me thinking about some possible ideas. I'll be sure to mention it if I do end up crafting something for that one. :) In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

**StrawberryFudge15: **Thank you for the review. :) Yeah, I have often thought that comedy and drama are so essential for romance, so why not write fics that celebrate both in honor of two romantic holidays that occur so close together. :D I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this fic as well.

Chapter Two

Later that evening, Kaori stood in the middle of her bedroom and studied the contents of her closet. She had a definite mission in mind, but now that she was actually ready to start on it, she found herself hesitating to go through with it.

Instead she thought back to the job she and Ryo had finished earlier that day.

* * *

The rest of the fashion show had gone smoothly, and Aoki had mentioned to them afterword that she had attracted more than one sponsor to help her create her next fashion collection and start working on building her own business.

"I can't thank the two of you enough," Aoki had gushed. "Now I'll have a chance to live my dream. I just hope that Fujisawa-san will move on from his jealousy."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Ryo giggled. "I'm sure after he thaws out, he'll be sure to think twice about bothering you again."

"Thaws out?" Aoki replied quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind," Kaori laughed while waving a hand in front of her face. "Just rest assured that your problems have been thoroughly taken care of."

"Thank you," Aoki smiled. "And I suppose now I should be discussing payment with you. I'm prepared to give you the fee we agreed upon, and as it turns out, I will be able to give you a bonus."

"A bonus?" Kaori said. "It's all right, Aoki-san. Don't feel like you have to…."

"Oh, but I want to," Aoki interrupted. "This fashion show has paved a way for my future as a designer. I feel that it's only fair that I share some of my bounty with you for helping me get to this point."

"It's nothing really, but thank you," Kaori replied. "Honestly, we could always use a bonus."

"Agreed," Ryo grinned. He then rushed over to Aoki and put his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.

"So, how about we go right now?" he asked.

"Go?" Aoki said.

"Yes, right now," Ryo nodded while giggling. "There are some great hotels around here and good clients always pay off their debts promptly."

Aoki's face turned red, and she barely managed to back out of the way before a giant hammer slammed Ryo into the floor.

"It's not going to be that kind of bonus," Kaori yelled at him. "Idiot."

"But, but that's the best kind of bonus," Ryo moaned as he crawled along the floor. "It's the only kind Ryo-chan cares about."

"Um, I hope that an extra twenty-five percent added onto your fee will be ok instead," Aoki stammered her face still scarlet.

"That will be wonderful, thank you again," Kaori smiled at her.

"I'd rather have a mokkori bonus," Ryo pouted as he tapped his fingers against the floor.

"You be quiet," Kaori snapped at him. "Aoki-san, let's go and have some tea so we can relax."

"Wait," Ryo said. "I want to go too. Don't leave me alone." Ryo bounced to his feet and clasped his hands together while making sure to put a pitiful expression onto his face. Kaori sighed and shook her head.

"All right, you can come," Kaori said. "But only if you behave yourself."

Ryo grinned and clapped his hands, and Kaori let out another sigh accompanied by a slight smile this time. In the past, she had often noted that it did not take much to make Ryo happy, and moments like this drove that point home for her. It was a trait that she actually found endearing most of the time. Kaori then considered how many of the people she had encountered over the years always needed bigger and better things just to remain satisfied while Ryo seemed to extract joy out of even the smallest and simplest pleasures in life.

As she watched Ryo practically skip alongside Aoki, Kaori was certain that Ryo gleeful right now and she wondered how long it would be before she would have to use her hammer again and halt to his exuberance.

'_And yet…even if I do that, even if I am forced to use my hammer on him to stop his mokkori antics, it wouldn't ruin his mood. Not really,'_ she mused. '_He'll just brush it off and move onto the next thing and he'll be happy again.'_

"_You'll be a lot happier if you don't try to pretend to be something you're not. Think about it."_

Kaori swallowed hard as Asagami's words echoed in her head yet again.

'_Is that how I seem to other people? Do I seem unhappy?' _she wondered. '_I suppose I might seem frustrated with having to chase after Ryo all the time, but do I really seem miserable overall too?'_

She looked over at Ryo and the grin on his face. Kaori couldn't deny that Ryo never bothered with trying to be someone he wasn't. Granted, there were times when he tried to act a little more suave or sophisticated than usual in an attempt to impress a woman, but in the end, he always remained true to himself and his actual personality would always show up eventually.

"Say, say, Aoki-chan, let's go have dinner after this," Ryo laughed. "We could go have some soba noodles at this great shop I know down the street."

"Ah, Saeba-san," Aoki said nervously. "I don't know."

Kaori was aware that Ryo was trying to get Aoki to agree to more of a date with just him, but right now she couldn't care less about it. Instead, she kept thinking about how Ryo appeared to embrace who he was and be happier for it while she struggled with who she wanted to be.

'_Asagami might be a snob…but she might have a point,' _she told herself. '_Maybe I should try to be more like Ryo and better embrace the life I lead and the work that I do. Maybe once I do that, I can find some of the same happiness he has.'_

* * *

After having some tea with Aoki and making arrangements for her to pay them in a couple of days, Ryo finally managed to convince Aoki to go out with him for some dinner and a movie. The two of them went out together as soon as they were done with their tea, and Kaori thought about going to visit Miki and Umibozu at the Cat's Eye Café, but ended up going home instead.

She made herself a quick dinner and after eating, she spent a few minutes flipping through the channels on TV to find something to watch. Her search proved fruitless, however, and she went back down to her room. She sat on her bed for a couple minutes and pondered everything she had thought about earlier that day before making a decision to take the first step to make changes in her life.

Kaori stood up and walked over to her closet. She opened the doors and began looking through the clothes inside. She then stood a short distance away from her closet and thought hard about whether or not she wanted to go through with the idea that had come to her.

"_Can you honestly say that you see a woman when you look into a mirror?"_

Kaori ground her jaw and shook her head.

'_She's right. Half the time, I don't even bother dressing like a woman anymore, so what exactly am I trying to cling to? It's time to stop being so impractical.'_

Kaori reached over and ran her hand along her clothes again, watching the light sway of the fabric as she did so, and she found herself hesitating again. She gazed at the bright colors and soft textures for a minute more before finding the resolve she needed to continue.

'_They're just clothes, just things,' _she told herself. '_It's not like they're an actual part of me or are integral to who I am.'_

Her determination hardened, Kaori yanked out one hanger after another and examined each piece before either placing it back on one side of the closet or throwing it onto a growing pile on the floor. She tossed onto the pile any dresses, skirts, or tights she could find. Blouses and sweaters that she thought were too frilly and jackets and pants that seemed too feminine were added to the stack. The only overtly feminine outfit she spared was one that a former client, Sayuri Tachiki, had given her as a gift, and that one she carefully placed into a box at the back of her closet along with all the accessories that went with it.

"Clothes should be functional," she said out loud as she worked. "They shouldn't get in the way of everyday life. Ryo's always telling me not to wear overly feminine things while I'm helping with his work. It's time that I take his advice seriously."

After going through all of the things on hangers, Kaori spied a bunch of her high-heeled shoes sitting on the floor, and she reached down and threw them into the pile as well.

"How many times have I tripped or fallen because I was wearing a pair of these while working on a case?" she asked herself. "I've almost been run over by a car more than once because of these, and I would have been killed by now if Ryo hadn't been there to save me. But I can't keep relying on him all the time."

Once her closet was emptied of all feminine clothing and shoes, Kaori turned her focus toward her dresser. She opened up the drawers and performed a similar purge of all the clothing in there, sparing only her bras and panties because she figured that they were never seen anyway and didn't hamper her at all.

She then turned her attention to the top of her dresser and the spaces around it. She made sure to place the box that had the ring that her brother had given to her next to her picture of him before opening up her jewelry boxes, scooping out all of her necklaces, earrings and rings, and throwing them into another empty box that she had pulled out of her closet and sat on the floor.

"If I'm not dressing as a woman anymore, I don't need any of this stuff," she told herself. "Besides, it could just get lost or tangled up into something anyway."

Kaori then found all of her cosmetics and perfumes and plunged them into the box as well, figuring that they also no longer served any useful purpose.

She then went and got a pair of trash bags and started to shove everything she had thrown onto the floor into them. After she was done, she spent a couple of minutes surveying the changes she had made to her wardrobe. Kaori couldn't help but notice that she now had far fewer options for outfits to wear, but she comforted herself with the reminder that this was the first step in a process.

'_If I focus harder on training myself for this work in City Hunter, maybe I could get some minor jobs that don't involve that oaf,' _she thought to herself. '_Then I can replace my stuff with some more practical clothes, and we could still have some extra money for a change. I'm sure that not having to worry so much about finances will go a long way in making me happier.'_

Kaori grabbed both trash bags and dragged them out to the elevator. She then went downstairs and took them outside, plopping them down in the alley beside the apartment building. She gave them one last look of longing before marching back into the building and going up the stairs to her room.

She collapsed onto her back on her bed and stared at the ceiling for several minutes while the reality of what she had just done sank in. She had thought that she would feel more remorse, and was surprised when she discovered that she didn't feel much of anything other than confused. She wasn't sure if discarding her need to indulge in some of the trappings of femininity would be as easy as throwing out some makeup and clothes, but right now, she was certain that this would be a solid start toward embracing who she really was and the life she led so she could find the happiness she felt she might lack.

'_Maybe this isn't going to be as hard as I thought it would be,' _she pondered. '_Maybe this is the solution I've been looking for.'_

Kaori reached up and ran a hand through her hair, and as her fingers twisted around its locks, she thought of one other thing she could do to further her transformation. Decision made, she got up from the bed and retrieved a pair of scissors before sitting down in front of a mirror.

* * *

Ryo shuffled along the streets of Shinjuku as he made his way back to his apartment building. He had enjoyed his date with Aoki, but his attempt to turn it into something more than a date had failed miserably, and Ryo was left with the rest of the evening and night to find something else to do. He had thought about going out and drinking, but for some reason, tonight it didn't appeal to him all that much, and he ended up wandering around the city instead.

He thought again about Aoki and her cheerful, congenial personality, which never wavered even as she turned down his offer to "take a tour of the love hotels" to cap off the evening. It was times like those that Ryo wished he could be more like a boyfriend to some of the women he met in the course of his work and could take the time to know them beyond a potential one night stand of mokkori, but he knew that that was impossible. His work simply did not allow him the luxury of getting to close to any woman lest he put her in danger. Ryo knew that the best he could do is get some mokkori time with these women and that he would have to be satisfied with that.

Most of the time, Ryo was able to let himself be content with that, but tonight was different and not just because he didn't succeed in his search for mokkori. After about an hour of wandering around Shinjuku, it occurred to him that he had been circling around more than one path back to his home. Eventually, Ryo decided that it was best not to fight his instincts and started to walk back to his apartment building.

It was while he was strolling back home that he started to think that, deep down, he just wanted to spend some time with his partner, Kaori. Once he realized that, however, he frowned. The fact that even his subconscious mind had a longing to be with her was troubling to him because, most of the time, Ryo was fighting with his conscious desire to be closer to her, to be more than partners with her.

Frustrated that he couldn't ignore this desire, Ryo thought about going back toward the Kabuki-Cho Ichiban Gai district to find another way to distract him from these thoughts. But then he suddenly felt too tired to force himself to revel in the nightclubs and bars and instead stuck to his decision to go home. He was sure that there would be hammers and snide remarks waiting for him there, but Ryo found that he did not care. He would endure them for the chance to spend time with the one woman he cared more for and felt closer to than any other.

He started to walk up the stairs leading to the front door of the building when a flash of color caught the corner of his eye. Ryo walked over to the source of the color along the alley next to the building. As he got closer, he realized that the swatch of color that was sticking out of a trash bag was familiar to him. He opened up one of the trash bags and his eyes widened when he realized that it was a bunch of female clothing.

"Lucky," he giggled. "Maybe there are some bras or panties in here somewhere." As he dug through it, he was disappointed when he didn't find either one in all of the clothing. Soon, however, another realization came to him: the realization that he recognized all of the clothes in this bag.

'_These are Kaori's. All of them,' _he thought. '_There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with them, so why did she throw away all of her clothes?'_

Curious, Ryo opened the other bag and found more of Kaori's clothes along with her high-heeled shoes, and a box full of cosmetics and jewelry. He stared at all of it for a couple of long minutes until the common thread in all of these things came to him.

'_Kaori threw away anything that could distinguish her as a woman. But why? Why did she do that?'_

Even though he asked himself that, Ryo was aware that he probably already knew the answer and that made his heart ache with regret. He thought about earlier that day when he noticed how Kaori watched Aoki's fashion show with more than a trace of melancholy in her eyes. He had wondered what was wrong at the time, but now he was certain that he was getting closer to the cause.

Ryo frowned again, his hands balling into fists. He knew that there had been many times when he had gone out of his way to make a joke about her being a man or a transvestite and that he made frequent references to her tomboyish nature. He had not thought that much about these insults at the time, figuring that they were just part of the normal playful teasing that was part of their routine and showed how comfortable they were with each other. Besides that, Ryo had always considered Kaori to be a tough, confident woman who wouldn't let comments like that put even the smallest dent into her trademark pride.

Seeing something like this, however, made Ryo question all of that. Worst of all, it made him realize just how negative of an impact he could be having on his partner.

This wasn't the first time Ryo had been confronted with the idea that his influence on Kaori wasn't a good one. When her sister, Sayuki showed up, Ryo had to listen to more than one lecture about how he was depriving Kaori of her right to be a woman, and then when his old partner, Mary arrived in Japan, she had implied more than once that Kaori was not suited for this life. Each time, Ryo had been able to brush off their comments by convincing himself that Kaori was happy where she was and that she was slowly learning to adjust to the lifestyle she had as his partner.

The fact that Kaori seemed to be tossing away any indication that she was a woman flew right in the face of both of those assumptions. It was then that Ryo realized that he would have to make a choice between the status quo which was the easiest path for him and what was best for Kaori.

Ryo looked down at the bags of clothes again and one piece in particular caught his eye. He pulled out a red jacket which he recognized as a part of the outfit that one of their clients, Keiko Kashiwagi, had helped her pick out during their "date" together. Even though Kashiwagi had tried to disguise herself as a man, she had still demonstrated good taste in clothing when she encouraged Kaori to choose this outfit for herself. Ryo had made sure to show no interest in Kaori when she wore it, but truthfully, it was one of Ryo's favorites of hers and he always enjoyed seeing it on her. As a result, he had been happy that Kaori seemed to like it as well and would often wear it.

Ryo felt another surge of regret at the fact that Kaori had thrown it away too and he was finally able to make a decision about what he should do.

Ryo gathered up both bags and snuck into the apartment building and headed straight for his floor, making sure to avoid Kaori. Even though she had been living with him for years, Ryo knew that there were still some secret crevices and passages that she did not know about, and he stashed all of her clothes into one of them. He then took a few deep breaths and prepared himself for the next step of his plan.

As he headed for Kaori's room, Ryo agonized over the fact that his plan was not going to be an easy one to pull off and had numerous potential pitfalls. Still, he couldn't see any other viable course of action, and he made sure to remind himself that, right now, how he felt about the situation was secondary.

In this situation, Kaori would have to come first…and whatever consequences he would suffer were simply part of the reality of the life he had to lead.


End file.
